Weazel News Journalist Found Dead

In what is being described as a shocking, tragic accident, a lone Weazel News political journalist has been found dead at the side of the road.



Damien Ick, a thirty-six year old veteran journalist and broadcaster, was found shortly after seven in the morning on Thursday lying dead beside his vehicle. Cause of death is currently unknown.

Construction worker Ken Barrows was the first to discover the scene and immediately called the police. We briefly spoke to him about the event.




“I was on my way to work. I just got out of Cheesy Pete’s, finished my breakfast burger and jumped in my truck. I turn the corner and there’s this dead guy taking up half the road. I beeped at him to move but nothing happened. That’s when I called the police on him. I figured they’d haul his ass into a cell but the next thing I know there’s cameras and helicopters all over.”


ImagePicture of Damien taken just two days before his death.


Damien was known as the lone journalist amongst co-workers. He was passionate about the truth and often lashed out at his own employers at Weazel News for refusing to cover stories he’d uncovered single-handedly. His death leaves behind a wife and young son who are said to be in a state of paralyzed trauma.


Police are desperately calling for any witnesses to come forward as they don’t feel like putting in the man hours required to solve mysterious high profile murder cases. Autopsy and toxicology reports are due for release in the coming days.

We were lucky enough to have a few short words with Charlie Williamsworth, CEO of Weazel News and the man who initially hired Damien on his headstrong attitude.



“This better be quick, I have my stockbroker on the line and I’m about to make millions out of this tragic story. Damien was a good guy, a little unhinged. I hired him to dish the dirt on my other Weazel News reporters, I thought it would make a good reality show. You know, co-workers turning on each other and all kinds of dirty personal secrets coming out. It was dynamite in theory.”

“But Damien… he was different. He didn’t care for the glamour, the free cocaine, the seedy sex parties. He wanted to drive head first into the truth and drag it into public view by the neck. Last I heard, he was trying to get together a team of guys to help him crack some government corruption story. Nobody wanted to risk their career so he took one of the Weazel News vans loaded with camera equipment and that was the last we saw of him.”


Further research shows that a close friend of Damien’s, Frank Matini, was supposed to be accompanying him but conveniently caught a cold and had to stay at home.



“Snot was literally pouring out of my nose. I was a mess, I couldn’t go anywhere. Not only that but my iFruit phone ran out of battery and I couldn’t find the charger. I can’t believe he’s dead, I will not rest until I find out what happened to him. Well… I still have some muccus in my throat so maybe I should wait until next week. I’ll miss you, Damien.”

If anybody has any leads on this, please let us know via sanandreasalternativenews@whackomail.net. If the threat of revealing government corruption can get a man killed, what would happen if their house of lies really did get exposed?


This has been San Andreas Alternative News. Pray for Damien Ick’s widow and bastard son, they need it more than we do.


One comment

  1. I have information about the 60 year old death!!!
    I was driving home from Eclipse Medical centre and I saw a man being jacked from his vehicle. It was a van, but I can’t remember clearly. I hope this can help. Jacker had a mask, I must say. COuld be from La Mesa (immagrints)

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